This is his favourite new "toy". He drags it around the house, pretends to row a boat with it when I sing "row, row, row your boat", bites and licks it like it's the tastiest lollipop, tries to pick up stuffs with it and help me with my chores. He runs to it the first thing he comes home, wakes up and whenever he is at home.
Friday, 14 June 2013
The journey of parenting is an arduous and tedious one. It is most certainly not a walk in the park. And fathers are worthy to be commended for their efforts in parenting.
I would like to dedicate this special post to my baby.
From being a child himself (child at heart), he has taken on the role of being a daddy to Isaac. His love for Isaac is indescribable. Even though I feared before delivery about Baby not adapting well, he has surpassed my expectation of him as a father.
There were so many times he controlled situations much better than me. I have learnt a lot from him. Ironically, I read more about parenting and spoke more to people.
In the end, it was him who taught me that every child is unique and thus, no guide is perfect.
A mother may love her child much. A father's love isn't lesser. Baby has to travel far for his work all over Singapore. He would rush back to pick up Isaac.
He would settle him while I do the dishes, change his diapers and check if he has rashes or if his stool was normal.
When Isaac had very high fever, he stayed up to take care of him even though he had to work the next day. He sponged him, took him to the doctor's and fed him medicines and took care of him. There were also the moments of vomiting where Isaac puked all over Baby.
He took care of him so mummy can work, cook, run and enjoy some me-time. All done without assistance.
For someone who is an only child and have been independent, Baby has stepped out of his boundary and beyond. He is a great father.
His love is like that of Jesus. He gives unconditional love to Isaac. It is a no-wonder Isaac would call "Daddy". And until today, that remains one of his favorite phrases. Sadly, "mummy" isn't in his vocabulary yet.
Baby may appear nonchalant. Deep down, I know he loves Isaac a lot. He is unknowingly loving him more than himself. No, I am not jealous. Cos he still loves me a lot. I know.
So, Baby Derrick Teng, thanks for all the thins you have done for Isaac and me. No word can describe how appreciative I am. And I am sure Isaac feels your loves and knows because he is happy in your care. He loves to be with you. And he looks forward to being with you.
You have been an amazing father and I am really proud of you. We love you. Happy Father's Day baby.
Sunday, 2 June 2013
Absolutely love this article.
At one point in motherhood, I was absolutely uptight and very much affected by what people think and the expectations of the "social norms" of parenting.
At one point, I was disturbed by comments and standards set up some so-called experts.
At the end of the day, I became miserable and I didn't enjoy parenthood. What changed me was one word from my husband "chillax".
If someone says that it requires a lot of patience to be a parent, he would disagree. He would say the key to parenting is to chill and relax, this "chillax".
Since I learnt to be more laid back in my parenting style, we enjoy one another more. Isaac has a lot of liberty to explore and we watch and keep him safe.
I allow him to eat fries and he loves it. He eats chocolate wafer and ice cream sometimes. On some weekends, we skip the morning showers together. And sometimes, we go to bed late. I allow him to mess up and we learn to keep his toys together.
He plays with what my husband calls "industrial toys", such as wooden spoon used for cooking, Tupperware, a full milo tin and cutleries in the restaurant (not to mention creating a din).
There were times he screamed and cried because he waited too long sitting with us at a restaurant, we just let him have his moment while we finish up our food. The same applies to when we have to finish up some urgent matters such as a visit to the restroom and he wouldn't allow us to. We would tell him,"too bad. You have to wait."
Who cares? If we, as parents allow him to explore the world, he will eventually learn. And yes. He turns out to be able to take instructions much better at 14 months.
He learnt that when he sees smoke from a cup or bowl, it is hot. And when there is vapour, it is cold. He learnt that when he lie down too quickly to throw tantrum, he would hit his head too hard. So, he gently put down his head before rolling and kicking, much to our amusement and often, we let him be and then pick him up to explain to him.
The incidents reduced. And he began to understand us much better.
Some friends are amazed at my calmness. But like the article, I don't feel I am a bad parent.
I just choose to ignore all comments, views and social acceptable standards, and run my family my own way. I choose to bring up my child my own way.
And when friends think I am such a "poor thing" having to bring Isaac out everywhere. Actually, I want to! And I enjoy it. I love bringing my little terror out.
Who cares? To me, giving Isaac security and love is the most important. With security, he can be confident to expire his world.
This little adventure I introduce him to. The liberty I allow him to have - of course, watched and loosely controlled, is how I want him to be when he grows up.
To always have the spirit of adventure to explore, take calculated risks and always keep the curiousity burning - to learn for life.
Note: Just to clarify... When I said I ignored comments, it includes compliments. I humbly thank compliments for Isaac but I don't feel proud. My pride is for my own to enjoy in his development. Having said that, I also do not judge myself. Cos judging myself means, judging others. And this also means comparison. I just bask in my own confidence as Isaac's mummy and the joy of bring a parent. That's as simple as that. And this spirit has been brought into my entire being. Not just parenthood anymore.